Teaching Consideration....

Is it a lost art? Something we no longer teach to our children? Do we remember to be considerate of others?

Philippians 2:3,4

Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; 

but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.

 Look not every man on his own things, 

but every man also on the things of others.

 We were visiting with a family last week.  A "good" Christian family.  They, too, have six children- all very similar to our own children's ages.  Their children were obedient, and respectful to their parents.  Yet, we walked away from their home perplexed.  My husband was a bit taken back.  It was very blatantly obvious that they lacked something.  Even our oldest child noticed it.

We couldn't pinpoint it at first.  They seemed like a "nice enough" family.  But while discussing our visit again today, we realized what it was.  What was missing from their home?  There was no courtesy.  Of course, our family does not expect to be treated like royalty- and we would NEVER demand such a thing.  But, because we so strongly believe it a mark of character and so believe  in teaching and instilling courtesy to our own children- it is noticeable when we see it lacking in others. In fact, we spend a month teaching the character trait of deference every year in our character training.  (And of course, practicing it throughout the year.)  As, we feel, it is a base for almost all other character traits.  (The greatest command is to love the Lord your God, and then after that, to love your neighbor...  Luke 10:27, paraphrase)

While courtesy expands to many different levels some simple examples that we teach our children are:

• thinking of the feelings of others
• deferring to others when playing with games or toys
• sharing all things, and if it's not something you wish to share... then keep it put away
• allowing OTHERS to choose the activities
• allowing company to always be served first at meal times
• not being hoggish with food, treats, or other, always making sure there is enough to go around (and if there isn't enough, you willingly go without)
• being quiet around others, so as not to be disruptive
• not being obnoxious or annoying in the presence of others

Basically, thinking of others.  We teach our children to ask three questions:

1. How would *I* like to be treated if I were _______  (name of another)?
2. Is what I am doing kind, respectful, deferring to the other?
3. How can I help (this other person) feel loved?

Unfortunately, we find that following the command given in Philippians 2:3,4 is not something people think of doing anymore.  Or teaching.  There is no longer much in the area of being courteous to others, of deferring to others as greater than ourselves... or at least- in believing in treating them as such.  It's a "me first" world.  What can *I* get out of it?  Today, people feel  entitled.  Or at best, don't even think to think of others.

Of course, our children are not perfect.  (Nor are my husband and I, for that matter.)  We are ALL works in progress.  But, our children are trained and taught these values enough, that they are a far contrast from what is in the world today.  Our prayer and hope is that they will one day take these values to heart (and the older ones already show the fruits of such teaching).  One day, we are hopeful that it will become natural for them to show courtesy to others, and ultimately through showing love and courtesy to others,  to show forth the love of the Father. 

It is amazing how deferring to others, thinking of THEIR needs above our own not only blesses them, but gives us a HUGE blessing in return.  What greater joy is there in bringing joy to another? 

If it is not a character trait you try to instill within your family, I would encourage you to consider it... so that one day- someone else does not walk away from your "good", Christian home...  Wondering what is missing...