Woah, Boy! Woah!

We have had some very bad influences around here... and I'm having to learn to adapt!  LOL!

I  *hate* gaming.  I'm talking about video games and computer games.  I feel they are a COMPLETE waste of time.  Well, okay.  I do enjoy playing now and then... but NEVER can I do it for more than 15 minutes or so.  I just get bored and think of all the time being thrown out the window. 

My husband and son on the other hand... LOVE it.  Somehow, they can become totally absorbed in such things.  They view gaming as I view a good book.  And really- what is the difference?  (Even though I'd be tempted to say- a book can be educational, purposeful, as well as pleasurable!)  But, really- you can find "good" games that are just the same.  In fact, the game Intelligent Cube by Playstation is one such game which tests strategy, thought and coordination.

BUT IT'S GAMING!  LOL! 

We have friends who recently bought a Wii.  No big deal, right?  Good for them.  We own a Playstation with 2 games that we take out once a year (at Christmas time), but it faithfully gets put back into the basement until the next Christmas rolls around. Our children are rarely allowed to even play computer games.  They play less than 30 minutes a month... between all of them combined.  (But for the new educational version of Oregon Trail, where they are actually learning history for school...)   I've been perfectly satisfied with that status quo.

Well, NOW my sweet husband is bent on purchasing an XBox 250gig Kinect.  And, knowing him... and knowing me... this is not a gaming system that will go into the basement but for once a year... and this is not going to be an easy pill for ME to swallow.   I am having to keep my distaste for such a notion to myself.  I am having to smile sweetly and not say a word.  I am having to sacrifice my OPINION on the alter of loving my husband. 

And it's NOT killing me!  (I'm not saying it's pleasant or easy... but hey, I must admit... it's NOT killing me! LOL!)  I know that our family will use the gaming system in a responsible way.  However, it still goes against every fiber in my body... simply because I personally don't see it as a worthy way to spend money on, or time on, or brain power on.  (<-- And, I'm not so sure about that brain power being something it uses anyway!)

Well, I know this is a senseless post. I'm just sharing a part of "Me".   LOL!  If nothing else, I would appreciate your prayers that I handle this displeasure in a godly manner.  That I learn to swallow my pride and keep my blasted opinion to myself.  (Because boy, oh boy... do I ever have one on this matter!)

LOL! 

Blessings,

Date Nights

Thanks to a sweet friend who has encouraged us to keep putting effort into our marriage- and keep it from becoming stagnant, we have been having regular date nights. They aren't usually anything spectacular to the onlooker, but they are special to us--- because we are together... and both putting effort into our marriage.

Last night, we bought a new movie for the children, let them get some McDonalds for dinner, and set them up in the girls' room upstairs to watch it on the laptop.  They also got a special treat of puffcorn and sweetened tea.  (May not sound like much of a treat to YOU... but they LOVE it!)

Then I made Fettuccine Alfredo and salad for my husband and I. We also had one of my favorite wines, Arbor Mist's Blackberry. 

My husband had planned ahead and with his technological know-how (something I'm clueless on), he somehow was able to play the music from our wedding 12 years ago through his phone.  That alone made the evening extra special for me.  Among his busy schedule he took the time to do something special for us... it isn't just *I* putting effort into the date nights... he enjoys doing so as well.  Which in turn, makes me feel loved.

Now anyone who knows my husband knows he is a hopeless romantic.  When we were first together, he would leave notes for me all the time, buy me little gifts and hide them throughout the house.  I'd always have fresh cut flowers to adorn my table, chocolates, etc.  He doesn't cringe at watching chick-flicks with me (even though he'd much prefer a man-flick...)  He thinks nothing of rubbing my shoulders, or back.... or even feet!

He's much more romantic than I am... and in some ways- I curtailed his romantic nature by being complacent.  I'm not much of a flower gal.  Don't care for little gifts, etc.  (But I *LOVE* his backrubs! LOL!)  So, as I showed little appreciation, he stopped doing things as often.  I didn't even notice because I was fine with the status-quo.  I hadn't realized how much we had lost... or at least misplaced, until we began to put effort again into our marriage.

It is fun to see those things beginning to blossom again.  And, I am now craving those things.

Anyway... I have been enjoying our "dates"...and look forward to many more adventures.  (I'll update now and then on how it's going.)

The business of being a Wife...

I have been thinking about this a lot lately.  Just what does it mean to be a wife?  Now, those who are Christians should have a biblical understanding of what it means... at least in it's most basic form.  A wife is created as a help meet to her husband.  She was created to help her husband.  (Genesis 2:18,20)

So... a helper to my husband.  Well, that's nice.  So, what does THAT mean?  One person has told me that it means I should get up with my husband when he gets up for work and make him breakfast.  That's what SHE does with HER husband.  My husband doesn't eat breakfast, and doesn't even communicate more than a grunting beast-like sound in the morning.  Another woman I know gets her husband his coffee.  She always seems to have a cup ready for him.  She also gets him his plate of food at meal times.  That is GREAT!  I love seeing her do this.  In fact, while visiting with their family, I felt guilty that I didn't do these things for my husband.  So, after feeling guilty for a week, I finally broke down.  I ASKED my husband what he felt would be helpful to him.  I asked him if he minded that I didn't get up with him in the mornings before work.  I asked him if it bothered him that he made his own coffee.

You know what I discovered???  MY husband is NOT those other husbands.  What helps them, does not help him.  He prefers getting his own coffee.  He LIKES the quietness of being alone in the mornings as he prepares for work.  Those things, which are a blessing to OTHER husbands, is not a blessing to my own.

So what does my husband like?  What can I "help" him with?  Here are things HE has said... (and had I tried to anticipate these things, I NEVER would have even hit half the list!  So ladies, ASK YOUR OWN husbands, if you do not already know!)

• He finds it helpful when I keep the house orderly
• He finds it helpful when I have the children occupied and out of his "stuff"
• He finds it helpful when I write out receipts and bill of sales for his mechanics work (you should see his handwriting! LOL!)
• He finds it helpful when I drive the van, because he's usually so tired from working so much
• He finds it helpful to have meals we can eat at home, thus saving money by not going out
• He finds it helpful to have clean underclothes and work shirts enough to wear for the week
• He finds it helpful when I work on training the children in good character, and working to that end
• He finds it helpful that I teach our children at home, and that I keep the home.  Not sending my children to public school or daycare (because he believes his children should be home.)
• He finds it helpful that I am there when he needs a kiss or a hug, or general reassurance, rather than my traipsing around, pursuing my own (perhaps) frivolous interests
• He finds it helpful that I can keep the family organized and running smoothly, so we always know what just happened, what is now, and what is next.

You see, while I was trying to beat myself over the head for not helping my husband the way that OTHERS help their husbands, I was missing the fact that my husband already feels I am a great helper... because I help him with the things HE needs me to help him with.  It was a good lesson for me in realizing that comparing myself to others, rather than seeking what my own husband needs, is foolishness and wasted time.  I was created to be a HELP MEET for MY husband.  Not for any other man.  I really need to remember THAT!